Frequently Asked Questions
How can you tell if someone is a Perfectionist Personality? How Can I Help or Make my Perfectionist Personality Partner Change? Why does she seem relaxed and tolerant around others, and so hard on me at home? What are the Keys to Living with a Perfectionist Personality? How Do I Rediscover Who I Am? For answers on these and other FAQ's, click this link for a downloadable .pdf.
On selecting a divorce attorney. If you have decided to divorce your OCPD spouse, and your attorney is either unaware of personality disorders, or unwilling to be educated about them, your OCPD spouse will chew him up for lunch without needing a a napkin. In order to protect yourself and your children, if any, choose wisely.
For a preliminary understanding of OCPD:
- Dr. Rhoda Kahn explains about OCPD in a short video clip.
- Warning Signs Youre Dating a Loser (controlling or abusive partner) by Joseph Carver, Phd.
- PsychCentral gives a short but complete overview on the condition.
- Great overview on Law Officer.com site of what its like to have a working or other kind of relationship with a Perfectionist Personality.
- Another overview on Cafe Mom.
- OCD vs. OCPD - one post as part of a blog by a therapist.
- Helpguide.org on Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships - you may be surprised to find you're already in one.
- Short overview on Out of the Fog website which includes links to support boards and other resources.
- Overview on NIH (National Institutes of Health).
- The Body/Mind Education Center on the Fight or Flight Response.
- How To Recognize a Controlling Person on Wikihow.
- Is Your Spouse Controlling? on Divorce 360.
- Counselling Resource describes symptoms of Anankastic Personality here, with additional links to references.
- Brain Physics - When Everything Has to be Just Right.
- Lifescript.coms Perfectionism Facts.
- Short blog by Simone Hoermann, PhD.
- All About OCPD on Light's house, includes sections on OCPD Parents and OCPD at Work.
- Psychology Today on the Pitfalls of Perfectionism.
- Eight Ways to Spot Emotional Manipulation on Cassiopaea.
More in depth:
- Too Perfect - a summarized view of subjects covered in this excellent book.
- The Right Stuff by Steven Phillipson, PhD goes into great depths about the various facets of OCPD.
- Wikipedia's current take on OCPD.
- Joseph Carver, PhD on Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser.
- Encyclopedia or Mental Disorders - includes some controversial claims regarding the cause of this condition.
- Dr. Dan Bochner on OCPD - good analysis, somewhat rosy prognosis for treatment.
- When the Going Gets Tough, The Perfectionist Takes Control by Steven Phillipson, PhD on recognizing signs of OCPD among adolescents and young adults.
for those who are dealing with a Perfectionist Personality
- Verbal Self-Defense by Suzette Haden Elgin, PhD (author of You Can't Say That To Me!) explains and gives examples of many great techniques, including the boring baroque response.
- Out of the Fog on setting Boundaries.
- Wikihow's got a great article on how to deal with people with personality disorders.
- Psych Centrals listing of treatment options.
- Advice for recognizing and dealing with verbal abuse (which can often escalate to physical abuse) by Patricia Evans.
for those with OCPD
- Overcoming Perfectionism on the Livestrong site.
- Dr. Phil gives advice to Controllers/Perfectionists - one page plus additional links.
- Psychology Today on What Flavor of Perfectionist are you? (Adaptive or maladaptive.)
- LiveScience - The Dark Side of Perfectionism Revealed on how perfectionism is not just bad for relationships, but for physical health.
- On Talk Therapy changing the brain.
- Free Forums - for both those with OCPD and those who have a loved one with OCPD. (Many members used to belong to a similar group on MSN, now defunct.)
- Forumotion - for those with OCPD or Anankastic Personality only.
- Out of the Fog - a support site for Significant Others of people with all types of Personality Disorders, including but not limited to OCPD.
- Yahoo Group - for both those with OCPD and their loved ones.
- FaceBook - look for the Perfectly Awful community page on FB, and fan if confidentiality/privacy is not a problem for you. There's also a closed group HERE.
- National Alliance on Mental Illness aka NAMI, which offers support groups, family education programs, literature and advocacy for those with mental illnesses and disorders.
- Tetanus Burger - two sisters cleaning up after their OCPD father (very funny- great pics!)
- The Gift of OCPD - by an OCPD'r who likes to look at the benefits.
- Educating Mel - Notes On How To Live In The World (With OCPD) and Be Loved. Inactive since 2012.
- Bashing Perfect - a blog by a Perfectionist on battling OCPD. Currently inactive since 2011.
For more articles related to OCPD, relationships, hoarding, recovery, research, and more, please watch and follow the Scoop which appears in the right sidebar of this page.
Got even more links, blogs or good articles? Please email to perfectlyawfulusa (at) gmail (dot) com.